Funny Quotes

Famous quotes know for their humour. Quotes that can make you laugh and think at the same time.

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

~ Fred Allen

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

~ Abraham Lincoln

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

~ Mark Twain

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

~ Rodney Dangerfield

In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.

~ Mark Twain

Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it pure ignorance?

~ Holbrook Jackson

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property."

~ Joan Rivers

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung

~ Voltaire

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

~ George Globol

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

~ Henry Youngman

Horoscope - Daily Forecast

Findout what your stars Foretell

Today's Panchang

VaaraSaturday
NakshatraVishaka
TithiDvitiya
PakshaSukla Paksha
KaranaBalava
YogaAyushman
Rahu08:58 AM - 10:25 AM
Gulika06:04 AM - 07:31 AM
Yamaghanda01:20 PM - 02:47 PM
India, GMT +5:30 hoursPanchangam »