Funny Quotes

Famous quotes know for their humour. Quotes that can make you laugh and think at the same time.

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

~ Fred Allen

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

~ Abraham Lincoln

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

~ Mark Twain

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

~ Rodney Dangerfield

In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.

~ Mark Twain

Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it pure ignorance?

~ Holbrook Jackson

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property."

~ Joan Rivers

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung

~ Voltaire

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

~ George Globol

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

~ Henry Youngman

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Today's Panchang

VaaraWednesday
NakshatraHastha
TithiChaturdasi
PakshaKrishna Paksha
KaranaVisti
YogaVaidhruthi
Rahu11:53 AM - 01:20 PM
Gulika10:25 AM - 11:53 AM
Yamaghanda07:31 AM - 08:58 AM
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