Sardarji Jokes

Santa Singh went to kashmir officially and called to his house over phone.
Sardar had taken the receiver.
Santa Singh : Who is speaking?
Sardar : Servant Sir.
Santa Singh : Where is the Madam?
Sardar : She is sleeping with her husband in bedroom.
Santa Singh : What? I am her husband came to Kashmir today.
Sardar : What can I do now sir?
Santa Singh : Open the cub board, pick the Gun, shoot both of them, come back and tell me, till then I am waiting in the line.
After some time ... there comes 2 shooting sounds ... after that ...
Sardar : Yes, I did Sir. But what can i do next Sir?
Santa Singh : Open the back door, throw both of them into the swimming pool
Sardar : There is no swimming pool in our house Sir
Santa Singh : What...? No swimming pool?
Sardar : Yes Sir
Santa Singh : Sorry, wrong number !!!!!!!!

Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to spend sleepless nights. A Surd was also experiencing the same every time he tries to sleep, one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound "guooonn, guooonn." He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not going for the blood shed still wanted to take revenge.
Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete so ja (Go to sleep, O dear mosquito, go to sleep)". After some time he finds the mosquito falling in to deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says "guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."

A Sardarji, very proud of his humour used to tell his wife while leaving for the office: "Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa."
One day his wife fed up of this, answered: "Bye Bye, Doo Bacchon Ke Baap."
That ended the husband's jokes.

One day, Banta goes to the clinic, and he finds his friend Santa crying.
Banta: Santa, Why are you crying?
Santa: The doctors are going to take my blood test by cutting my finger.
After hearing this Banta also starts crying.
Santa: Banta, why are you crying?
Banta: I'm here for urine test!

A sardar can be so stupid that: -
He puts make up on his head so he can make up his mind
He gets stabbed in a shoot out
He sends a fax with a stamp on it
He tries to drown a fish
He tries to push a bird of a cliff
He thinks socialism means partying
He trips over a cordless phone
He takes a ruler to bed to see how long it sleeps
He puts Sagittarius in the box for 'sign here' on the application form
He studies for a blood test and fails
He sells the car for gas money
He misses the 44 bus and takes the 22 twice
He drives to the airport and sees a sign that said 'Airport Left' turns around and goes home
He gets locked in a furniture shop and sleeps on the floor
He calls you to get your phone number
He spends 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said concentrate
He tells you to meet at the corner of 'Walk' and "Don't Walk"
He tries to put M&M's in alphabetical order
He sits on the TV and watches the couch
He thinks that a quarterback was a refund
He gets locked in a grocery store and starves to death
He would give you change when u gave him a penny for his thoughts
They had to burn down the school to get him out of third grade
He puts 'Hooked on Phonics' under education on the application form
He takes 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
He would be speechless if he spoke his mind
He thinks that Boyz II men was a day-care centre
He thinks that Meow Mix was a record for cats
He ask for a price check at the dollar store
He thinks you need a token to get on Soul train
He went home and got 16 friends when he saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted)
He moved when he heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home
He thinks that Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
He laughs at a joke on Saturday when he was told it on the Wednesday.

One day, Banta, along with his two friends, one being Polish and the other being an American go to the police station to get jobs as cops. However, they would have to answer only one question. The Polish person goes into the room.
Detective: Who killed Jesus?
Polish: The Catholics.
Detective: Good answer. In an hour or so, we'll tell you if you got the job.
The American goes next.
Detective: Who killed Jesus?
American: The Jews.
Detective: Good answer. In an hour or so, we'll tell you if you got the job.
Banta is next.
Detective: Who killed Jesus?
Banta: You have to give me more time. Can I tell you tomorrow?
Detective: Sure, take as much time as you want.
Banta then goes home and he finds his wife making dinner.
Wife: How did your interview go, sweetheart.
Banta: It went very well. I'm on my very first murder case.

Santa Singh was traveling by train without a ticket. When he saw the T.C (Banta singh) coming he thought of an excuse which he had heard from other people, that is, ministers can travel free. So when Banta came and asked Santa for his ticket, he said 'Oye! asi minister' (I'm a minister). Banta asked him 'Oye! tusi kade Minister' (which minister). Santa couldn't think of any minister except Mrs. Indira Gandhi, so he said 'Oy! asi Indira Gandhi'. Immediately Banta caught Santa's feet for blessing and said 'Oye! asi bauth sunya, Oye! asi bauth padya, aaj dhek leya'(I heard a lot about you, I read a lot about you and my luck, I saw you today).

There were 4 sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business.They had a lot of discussions on the type of business and finally decided to start a hotel. They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel. The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiting its first customer. The sardars waited and waited but nobody turned up. The story was the same the next day. A week passed but noboby turned up. WHY?
Bcos there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed"

After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage. They bought the best of car servicing equipments and soon started the garage. The 4 sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive but no car entered their garage. They waited for one day, 2 days ,a week but no car came to their garage. WHY?
B'cos their garage was on the first floor.

After this failure they decided to fall back on the good old taxi driving. They bought a new Premier Padmini running on CNG and began to look for passengers. They drew past Churchgate but nobody hailed their taxi. They went to Nariman point yet nobody hailed their taxi. They drove to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there nobody hailed their taxi. In desperation they kept on driving all around Mumbai but alas no one hailed their taxi. WHY ?
B'cos all the four sardars were sitting in the taxi.

All the 4 sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb and decided to push their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines. They started pushing their taxi. They pushed the whole day and were very exhausted but the taxi did not move even an inch. They decided to rest for the night and start the next day. The next day the story repeated itself. The taxi just wouldnt move. They pushed for a whole week but the taxi wouldnt budge. WHY?

B'cos two sardarjis were pushing from front and two from behind.

Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He had to get off on station that came up at 4 am. He asked the guy sitting opposite him on the train to wake him up at 4 am and gave him Rs 20 to do so. This guy was a barber, and felt that for Rs 20 the passenger deserved more service. So, when he fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off is beard!
When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. His wife said, " What's the matter?" He replied, "The cheat on the train has taken Rs 20 from me and has woken up someone else!!!"

The sardarni asked his lover, Santa Singh, "Santa darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?". "Sure", said Santa, "what's your phone number?"