Being stubborn is common among toddlers and teenagers, and parents need extraordinary skills to deal properly with a stubborn child. Dealing with a stubborn child without making them feel down is a very sensitive task. Stubbornness is not a behavioral abnormality, but a learning mistake. Children also undergo tensions and stress. They do not know the proper and accepted ways of escaping the tensions and releasing them in a positive way. Becoming stubborn is a mistakenly learned character to deal with tensed situations. If not nurtured their feelings properly, stubbornness can become a trait and chronic character. Thus recognizing this character trait in children is important and setting the kids free of it is essential.
When children act angrily and when they do not respond in the positive ways to stressful situations, parents need to take extra care to make the child understand the bad effects of being stubborn. Showing angry to an angry child is harmful as the child will understand anger as the best way of communicating dislikes and discomfort. Just understand that it is the conflicts of the child that get expressed as anger and stubbornness. There are certain techniques to calm down the child when she/he is stubborn and taking away such behavioral patterns.
Do not argue with a stubborn child
Arguing with a stubborn child will make the situation worse. Do not even scold them or try to amend them forcefully. Children do not know the social norms of accepted behaviors and the ways of dealing with conflicts in life. Patience and dedication is the only key to open the ways into their minds. When children are stubborn, observe them and try to find out the element that makes them uncomfortable and removing the child from the situation will help them calming down. Many parents try to make children understand by scolding them in public or arguing with them. Arguments will make kids feel unwanted or will put down all their spirits. Most of the time stubbornness occurs as an uncontrollable character in children. Learning those ways of diverting attention or teaching them the ways of avoiding stressful situations will help them peeling of stubbornness.
Listen more and talk less
Instead of trying all the tricks possible, just listen to your child. Most of the children have stubbornness as an inborn trait. Some kids express them frequently and others just keep them hidden. Getting into friendly communication with children when they are angry or tensed will help to ease the situation. Talking to them may divert their attention and make them forget the tension. When parents do not listen to children, they may feel like abandoned and unwanted. Many a time, stubbornness is a mode of inviting attention from parents. If kids feel that parents give them enough attention and importance, then stubbornness may disappear gradually.
Being role model is important
If parents get angry on minor issues and get into hot arguments often, then the kids are more likely to express their stress through anger and become stubborn. Parents are the first teachers of kids. They learn everything from parents. When kids see parents reacting angrily, they will create an impression that anger is the best way of communicating frustrations. Parents are to be the role models of children if they want their kids to be well behaved. Teach them by showing it to them. You can't just behave the ways you want and expect your kids to be good and well mannered.
Create peaceful atmosphere at home
Home should be a place of comfort and happiness to children. Do not let them feel bad about home and parents. Children are to be the priority when deciding everything related to home. Many parents commit the mistake of avoiding kids at home and giving importance to guests and personal works. Even when you cook, listen to their suggestions about their favorite dishes and likes. Create an atmosphere of affection, understanding and mutual respect at home. Forceful disciplining may make kids frustrated and stubborn. Disciplining them is essential, but it should be accomplished in the most affectionate way. It should not be, 'I commanded it, so you should follow it', method at home. Instead, convincing them the importance of following certain rules and certain lifestyle my work the way out.
Understanding the child is important
Understand the child in all the possible ways helps to condition his/her behavior and character traits. The stubbornness in most of the kids can be changed with extra care and essential techniques. But certain children may have stubbornness as an abnormal behavioral aspect. They need to be taken for counseling or behavioral conditioning by an expert.