Brooke Shields contemplated suicide after first baby

Hollywood actress Brooke Shields has revealed she wanted to take her own life when she first became a mother because she was suffering from severe post-natal depression.

The actress who has two daughters, Rowan, six, and three-year-old Grier, with husband Chris Henchy suffered from severe post-natal depression and didn't think her life was worth carrying on with, reports femalefirst.co.uk.

"I finally had a healthy beautiful baby girl and I couldn't look at her. I couldn't hold her and I couldn't sing to her and I couldn't smile at her... All I wanted to do was disappear and die," said the former model about Rowan's birth.

"I should not exist. The baby would be better off without me. Life was never going to get better - so I better just go," she added.

Shields, 44, was given medication for her depression but stopped taking it, thinking she didn't need it, which resulted in almost fatal consequences.

"I almost did not resist driving my car straight into a wall on the side of the freeway. My baby was in the back seat and that even p****d me off because I thought she's even ruining this for me. I just wanted to drive into the wall and my friend stayed on the phone with me until I got home safely," she said.

She later called her doctor to ask for more help, and was eventually diagnosed with a chemical imbalance.

"I learned what was going on inside my body and what was going on inside my brain. I learned I wasn't doing anything wrong to feel that way. That it was actually out of my control," she said.

Last updated on Nov 17^th, 2009 at 23:24 pm IST--IANS