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One day there was a Bihari going in a Fiat Car at 45KMPH on a highway and enjoying his drive.
Suddenly a Sardaji came Booiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn on a Honda and peeped into the car and shouted at the Bihari - "Kabhi honda chalaya kya?" and sped off, The Bihari was surprised but he did not bother. After some time the Surd came Booiiiinnnnnnnnnnn... in the opposite direction, peeped into the car and shouted again "kabhi honda chalaya kya?" and sped off , This time the Bihari was annoyed , since the surd was teasing about his driving.
After some time again the Surd came back speeding and said the same thing peeping into the car. The Bihari was about to say something but the Surd goes off. This time the Bihari increased his speed but suddenly stopped as he found the Surd lying on the road, bleeding. He got down and mocked at the Surd "Kyon Surd , Kabhi Honda chalaye kya?" The Surd said "Wohi to puch raha tha, Mein Brakes ko dhoond rahatha."
Santa and a friend are sitting in a cinema. Just before the break they see a cactus and in some distance a cowboy. During the break the friend says to santa:"I bet the cowboy will ride into the cactus."
Santa answers: "I do not believe that."
They agree that the loser invites the winner to a bottle of wine after the film. It turns out that the friend wins. So after the film they drink together the bottle of wine in a restaurant near the cinema.
Then the friend says: "I must confess that the bet was not fair. I saw the film for the second time."
Then Santa replies: "And I saw it for the fourth time, but I did not think that this fool rides into the cactus again."
Santa and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Santa says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
Santa Singh and Banta Singh were sitting on a tree and Santa Singh was singing a song.After 4 songs Santa Singh hung himself upside down and started singing again.
Banta Singh : Santa Singh, what is the matter with you? Why are you hanging upside down?
Santa Singh : I am singing the B side.
Santa Singh: "My doctor told me to drink carrot juice after a hot bath to cure my cold."
Banta Singh: "Does it work?"
Santa Singh: "I don't know... I can never finish drinking the hot bath."
Once a sardarji receives a love letter from his beloved. Being an illeterate he cannot read the letter. So keeping that letter for him for weeks,months and years he thought how to read the letter. He thought and thought and thought and this sardarji being a little intelligent fellow finally he got an idea that he can go with that letter to his friend and ask his friend to read that letter for him. So he made all the plans to reach his friend. Finally he reached his friend's house on one fine morning and he explains all the story, but still he does not want his friend to know what that letter contains(the letter being very personal and meant for only to the sardarji), so again he thought and thought and thought for one week and finally he got an idea.......So this was the situation what our GREAT FRIEND SARDARJI was in...can u just guess what he is going to do with his final idea....?????
(Ans): He just closes his friend's EARS while his friend is going to read the letter so that his friend cannot hear what he is reading.......
A Surd prime minister visited the president of the neighbouring country and complained about all this jokes about surds that others tell each other. "This leads to the impression that all surds are stupid", he said. "You should not take this so earnestly",answered the neighbouring minister, "These are only jokes and not true stories. And there are also stupid people in our country. I will prove it to you."
Saying so, he went to his driver and said: "Please drive to my home and find out, whether I am at home." The driver immediately went on his way.
The surd prime minister was satisfied: "He is very stupid indeed. There is a public phone just at the corner. It would have been easier to call and check!"
Santa Singh is at the railway station. He asks a man "When will Rajdhani Express go from here?"
Man Replies 12.30.
"When will Deccan Queen go from here?"
Man Replies 11.30.
"When will Punjab Express go from here?"
Man Replies 10.30.
Santa singh goes on asking about all the trains.
Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not.
Santa replies, "No I just want to cross the tracks!"
A Sardarji finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help.
He goes into the temple and begins to pray..........."Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lottery"
Lottery night comes and somebody else wins it.
The Sardarji goes back to the temple................
"Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well"
"Lotto night comes and the Sardarji still has no luck!!
Back to the temple..................
"My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving.. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and the Sardarji is confronted by the voice of Lord:
"SARDARJI, BUY THE DAMN TICKET FIRST"
Banta Singh went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?"
Yes of course, said the doctor, why not!
"Oh How nice it would be I have been illiterate for so long" replied Banta with joy.