Separation anxiety is a disorder found in children and most often it is considered as a psychological condition. Though it is considered as a disorder, it is a quite natural feeling every child has when parents say good bye to them. Modern lifestyle makes parents to leave children at the car of nanny or in a day care center. Parents seldom find time to be with kids always. The tensions of work, personal matters and childcare make them in a dilemma and many parents find day care centers or paid nannies the only possible way of keeping their kids safe and taken care of. Kids who live with parents may not exhibit the symptoms of separation anxiety and are less likely to suffer from this disorder. But children who are separated frequently from the parents may become victims of separation anxiety.
There are two kinds of separation anxiety; normal and abnormal. Knowing both the normal and abnormal anxiety types will help parents to determine which is to be psychologically treated and which is just conditioned. Almost all the children exhibit separation anxiety as an inborn trait. They are very much dependent on parents and even the slightest thought of separating from parents may make them scared and anxious. Excess anxiety and related tensions are generally referred as abnormal separation anxiety. Children with separation anxiety may refuse school or resist being away from parents. Let us see the tips to cop up with the separation anxiety of children.
Causes of Separation Anxiety in Children
There are several reasons behind separation anxiety in children. Over protective parents, stress, environment changes etc., can cause separation anxiety in kids. In the modern lifestyle, kids lack familiarity with people other than parents and places other than homes. When they are taken outside and left alone, they may suffer from the separation anxiety. The most obvious symptoms are seen when they are taken to the school for the first time. It may be on the first school day most of the kids stay away from home and parents for the first time in life and it is quite normal for them to feel separation anxiety.
Tips to cop up with separation anxiety
There are several helpful ways of reducing the tension in kids and coping with the separation anxiety. The most important is to make kids feel familiar comfortable with environments outside home. Taking them for outing and letting kids to play with other children are ways of easing the tension in kids when parents leave to work. Leave them with a caregiver and let them stay with grandparents or relatives for short periods. Make them understand that parents are not leaving for ever but after a while they will be back with the children. Neglecting the resistance of kids when they are separated is advisable. Kids may cry or act violently when they feel that parents are leaving them.
Separation anxiety can be eased by practice and after one or two day's separation and reunion they may cop up with the situation and realize that the separation is short and parents will be back to be with them. Make the reunion as much as exciting for kids. You can buy chocolates for kids when you return home from work or when you reach school to pick the child. Kiss them or hug them when you meet the child and communicate in consoling and comforting manner. The experience of happy reunions will make the kids waiting for such occasions and thy will take the separation as a way for exciting reunions.
Separation anxiety is just the fear of kids that parents won't come back and are leaving for ever. Establishing trust by adhering to committed time of return may help kids to feel eased as they will be sure that parents will be back exactly at the committed time. Do not say lies to children and break the trust. Many parents promise that they will be back in few minutes and return after hours. Such practices will make the kids to lose the trust in the words of parents and may feel unsecure and anxious. Say goodbye when you leave and be back on time not making the kids to wait for you.
Help kids to adjust
Adjusting with the new situations at school or at home when parents leave to work is essential to resolve the tensions and fear of children. You can be with the child on his/her first day at school and introduce the new friends and teachers to them. In the presence of parents kids may easily get familiar with the changed environment and later will adjust to it even without the presence of parents.