Harsh parenting can affect kids in the future.
While it may be good for parents to discipline their kids from time to time, in certain cases parents go by the way of harsh parenting which could lead to negative outcomes. Children are always on the lookout for adventure and may still not be aware of the perils of their games. While kids may consider certain things fun, it is the responsibility of the parents to help them differentiate fun from danger.
However, sometimes kids do things that can drive parents crazy and may have to stick to harsh parenting. While it may help the kid to learn a lesson it could also affect a child if the method is used on a regular basis. But can it affect a child so much that it could even hurt them in the future? Yes, it can.
Avoiding punishment for kids with ADHD can help.
Parents who use the harsh parenting method on kids with ADHD can only make matters worse for kids. However, researchers have found that refraining from any kind of rough and tough punishment can help kids improve from their ADHD condition.
Changing this lifestyle of the parents could help kids who were likely to run into trouble which could include criminal behavior or violence. Kids, when put in a situation that can push their stress levels, may have trouble in controlling their emotions, especially those kids who have ADHD.
In a test involving both parents and ADHD kids, the following was observed -
Positive Parenting included -
- • Praising the kids.
- • Encouraging the kids.
- • Helping their kids in problem solving.
Negative Parenting included -
- • Critical Statements.
- • Using physical discipline.
- • Ordering them to do things.
Parents who have kids with ADHD go through a lot of struggles when it comes to raising them. They may even develop a like-hate kind of relationship as both sides may find equal difficulty in having to adjust with one another. Truth is, it is really hard for the parents, however instead of losing their minds researchers opted for a more peaceful approach that can help both the kids and the parents. The study was carried out by Theodore Beauchaine, a professor of Psychology at Ohio State.
Harsh words can hurt teens and harm their lives
Parents in a fit of rage can say things unintentionally that could severely hurt the child causing extreme levels of emotional pain. Though it was done to probably correct or discipline the child, it might have only worked for a minute or so. It doesn’t really play out well in the future.
On one hand, it could begin just by yelling at first and then to using offensive words or picking on them because of some form of physical or mental weakness. On the other hand, the child may be listening to all of this while helplessly holding back their frustration and sorrow.
Parents may shift from physical discipline to verbal discipline as the child reaches adolescence thinking it may not hurt them much as they’re probably all grown up. Bad news, it hurts a lot! Verbal discipline directed towards teens normally involved cursing, swearing and even calling names.
It was also observed that teens who were often treated this way displayed the following the characteristics -
- • Misbehaving at school
- • Lying to parents and people around
- • Cheating
- • Stealing things
- • Fighting with others.
Most of these kids grow up to be more depressed or aggressive in the future. Eventually, they look for ways of showering their inner sorrow or accumulated anger on another person. A person can only hold it in for so long.
While parents really do not have any intentions of hurting their kids, they assume that someday the kids may understand that this was all done because they just wanted them to be perfect. However, not all kids may accept this kind of life regardless of the intention. And once the damage has been done in their minds, they may pass it on to the next generation.
The study was conducted by Ming-Te Wang, assistant professor of psychology in education at the University of Pittsburgh.
Negative or Harsh Parenting can also make kids victims of bullying
Children who experienced harsh parenting from their parents often got bullied by their peers at school. Researchers found that harsh parenting was connected to a slight increase in the risk of being a bully victim and being a literal victim of bullying.
Bully victims and victims developed problems later on in life like that of physical health problems, anxiety, depression and also an increased risk of self-harm and suicide. While the incident may get over in a few minutes, the effects last for the years to come. Not everybody gets over this trauma later on in life. Researchers concluded that the method of Positive parenting is what parents should opt for when teaching their kids, how they can overcome a bully-situation if their kids were ever to face one.
In a study, negative parenting behavior included features like -
- • Abuse/neglect
- • Maladaptive parenting
- • Overprotection
While positive parenting behaviors included -
- • Authoritative parenting
- • Parent-child communication
- • Parental involvement & support
- • Supervision
- • Warmth & Affection
Neglecting the child’s plea for help or mocking the child after being a victim can emotionally scar a child. However, overprotecting the child isn’t the right way either. Teaching them that people like bullies exist in the world and that they are no less infront of them is what matters. Care and affection is what a child expects from the parents, after going through that painful ordeal. Ridiculing them shows that you are no less than the bullies.
The study was carried out by researchers Professor Dieter Wolke, Dr. Suzet Lereya and Dr. Muthanna Samara from the University of Warwick.
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A sweet voice can soothe the child’s pain
The truth is that it may be practically impossible to always talk to the child in a friendly voice, that is exactly what the child loves the most. Children are naughty in their tender ages, we all were the same too. And maintaining a smiley face at the child might even make the kid realize that something isn’t right with the parent either. Especially when they know that it would only make sense if they actually got angry.
Telling them that what they did was wrong is equally important for their own life. Teaching them that not everybody has to forgive and love them as their parents do is another thing. Scolding a child isn’t a crime, but never take pride in hurting the child’s personal feelings.
And finally, lower your voice and talk to them with a sweeter tone. Remind them how much you love them and that its okay to make mistakes as long as we realize them later.