“…and she did not know how to say the word "love," or how to explain the emotion's unexpected birth.”
- From Salman Rushdie’s The Enchantress of Florence
Love stems from all reasons and we seldom can track from where. All we know is that we have been beset by the “queen” of emotions, or say the “king”. That is all we ever will know!
Of all the complex and powerful force in nature Love is one that plays out in a number of emotional, cognitive and social ways.
The love we feel is not only the one we feel at the spur of a moment even though it may seem so. It is also shaped by a number of previous ideas we had, our outlook on life and mostly the kind of person we are and the beliefs we keep.
Special Editions: Happy Valentine's Day - The Festival of Love
Here we collate a list of the six general kind of love as described by the Ancient Greeks. Find out which is yours!!
Before you continue reading and find your “kind” of love, do note that you might not be necessarily locked in just one of the types. It’s just that you will be predominantly showing one of it and still show minor characters from other types too.
Similarly, our current love style can change over time, age, life experiences and interactions you will have in future. But then, that’s about how almost everything in life goes, right? So READ ON! Find your life style this Valentine’s Day:
This is the romantic, fairy tale inspired love type. The Romanticist one.
As it is romanticism, so does it lean greatly on physical beauty.
The Eros-kind fall “head over heels” in their love due to the immense attraction and emotion they tend to feel.
In “each” of their relationships they would feel an urgent desire to deepen the relationship emotionally and physically.
And due this sort of intensity? – they become serial lovers! But monogamists of course – they tend to be seriously and fully invested in the relation as long as they feel it fresh and compelling. But when they cease to feel that intensity anymore, they would slide to a new one so that they can experience those same feelings again with someone new.
These are the stable and committed ones, for it is companionship that they want and a psychological closeness and trust they long for.
Thus Storgic love relationships can grow out of friendships, something that requires time for the love to flair up on the pair. This style of love is enduring, and these people are in it for the long period.
For these individuals, Love is a game to be won at!! A game they like to play only to win. The chasers!
And often this can be a multiplayer game!
Ludics are those who might not feel much qualm about deception and manipulation in relationships.
Tending to be low on commitment, they also keep the emotions at a safe distance.
As ludic relations are mostly short term, they place due importance on the physical characteristics of their partner more than the other types of lovers. It may even be just that and maybe only the sexual part of it.
As you may have guessed from the name, it is that kind of relationship where practicality rules.
Here, logic is the tool that is used to measure the compatibility among the partners and a lot of thought is given to the future prospects of the relation.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that these individuals are emotionless. But they rather place a high importance on the longevity of the relation and are anxious if their need and attributes will be suited with their potential lover.
The needs might be social or financial or even emotional to those over anxious types.
Pragmatists will consider beforehand if their lover stand a chance to be accepted by family and friends, or at times, if they’re good with money.
And as said above, they might tend to evaluate their emotional assets as well - for example, does the partner have the skills to be calm in times of their stress?
For this kind, love is an obsessive mania!!
These individuals will generally be the hot-headed ones in their personal life itself, the more unstable ones. Hence they will be emotionally dependent and expect constant reassurance from their partners and a lot of pampering.
Such people are likely to experience peaks of joy and dips of sorrow and tend extent these bouts depending on the extent to which their partner can take it!
A handful of possessiveness can come along with them and hence a baggage of jealousy can be an issue.
Agapic individuals are loving, caring and giving. Their actions will always centre around the needs of their partners and hence might be an ideal one for a matrimony.
Love with them is selfless and unconditional and an agapic half will love you just as how you are.
But as it goes with everything that is given, these individuals will also expect acts of care and kindness in return and will be much appreciative when they receive it back from their partners.
As these individuals are very much accepting, they tend to have high levels of relationship satisfaction.