Famous quotes know for their humour. Quotes that can make you laugh and think at the same time.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

~ George Bernard Shaw

    What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

    ~ Woody Allen

      Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

      ~ Mel Brooks

        My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

        ~ Jack Nicholson

          You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.

          ~ Mark Twain

            The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.

            ~ Albert Einstein

              I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

              ~ Groucho Marx

                From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

                ~ Groucho Marx

                  Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

                  ~ George Carlin

                    Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

                    ~ Albert Einstein

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