Famous quotes know for their humour. Quotes that can make you laugh and think at the same time.

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.

Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it pure ignorance?

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property."

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

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